Pre-Wedding Rituals: The Lobola Negotiation

The journey to marriage begins with lobola, the practice of bride wealth, which serves as a gesture of gratitude and establishes a formal bond between the two families. This is not seen as purchasing a bride but as a symbol of the groom's commitment and his family's respect for the bride's upbringing.

Initiation and Negotiation

1. Formal Approach: The process is initiated when the groom's family sends a letter to the bride's family to request a meeting. Upon arrival, they introduce themselves by shouting their clan names (izithakazelo) as a sign of respect.
2. The "Mouth-Opening": To begin the formal dialogue, the groom's representatives perform the ivul'umlomo ritual, often an offering of brandy or a symbolic cash amount, to "open the mouth" and facilitate smooth negotiations.

The Discussion: Negotiations are conducted exclusively by male representatives, such as uncles and older brothers, from both families. The price, traditionally paid in cattle, is determined by factors like the bride's education and family status. In modern times, a cash equivalent is often negotiated, with the average price for a cow being around R12,000.